Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
