I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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