turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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