It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
im holly from the hills drunk
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
