I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
