I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
