oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
