So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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