Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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