you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
