he thought i was a dude.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
