She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
