i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
