fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
