Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
