my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Drunk is not a location!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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