dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
