your parents love me but you hate me
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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