Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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