i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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