Don't make out with my wife yet
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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