so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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