Dual....:-)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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