yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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