I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is it because I queefed?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
