I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
