There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
