well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
