So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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