But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
