Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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