So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
