we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
