Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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