Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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