is your mom at the bar?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
