He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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