He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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