i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
