I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
