It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize