we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
