i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
