Is it normal to miss your booty call?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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