In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Blood and glitter go together right?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
