"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
