the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize