After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
