So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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