I got chris browned last night
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
