She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
