he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize