With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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