yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
