why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
