So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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