I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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