and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize