at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
