Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
