My room smells like vodka and shame
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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