Dual....:-)
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
