Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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