So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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