I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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