i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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