this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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