I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
