And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
