The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
