sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
