considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
