Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
